Interview With Lydia McLane

A trip down memory lane with Dominatrix Lydia McLane

by Cary

How did you become interested in fetish/BDSM?

This is just how I am wired. I had a pretty normal childhood, except I always wanted to tie up my friends or be “it” so I could track them down and capture them. I have no trauma in my early life or any of the other myths people expect of people like me. I truly believe that some of our brains are wired to eroticize elements outside of genitalia. Some of us find more sex appeal in a finely woven whip than in another cock or pussy – unless that genital is attached to our most recent victim. I remember biting myself hard as a child so I would know how bad it hurt when I did it to someone else. Mind games and exploratory pain was something I engaged in regularly. After puberty I “practiced” some of my fantasies on people I would barter with. I would offer chocolate treats for a face slap or to be able to clip my skirt hangers onto their nipples.

I had dated a few people who would “let” me do things to them, but nothing too regular until I moved to Seattle. Thankfully I met a few Leather Men who gave me some pointers and treated me like a little sister. I credit them for teaching me that I should talk about what I want to do to someone before diving in.

And how did you transition from an interest to it being a profession?

My transition was fairly quick into professional BDSM. I had learned early on that I should not discuss my proclivities with my friends. The general idea of a fun time with someone one was attracted to versus my idea of what should occur was different from a very early age. Many of my friends just thought I was weird or trying to be shocking. Growing up in Oklahoma, before the Internet, I simply did not know anyone else to discuss my interest in and fantasies concerning kink. When I was 19, I started dancing to help pay for college and quickly attracted all the “perverted” clients. I thought they were great and was thrilled to find some people who seemed to like some of the notions that I had. One charming gentleman eventually talked me into seeing him outside the club. We had a fabulous “first” session and I wanted to do it again. I figured out some basics and had discovered some books at the library, so I did not go into the scenes blind, but I had much to learn, as did my clients. I still see a few of my original clients when I return to Oklahoma for visits with my family.

Since that first client, I have never stopped my professional work. No matter where I was or what other occupation I was in I have maintained my clients. I love the variety of play and ideas. I like being challenged to try new ideas and role-plays. For me, being a professional Domme allows the chance to grow in my BDSM through constant change and variety of play partners. I feel lucky to have landed into a career that brings so much to my life.

What can someone seeing you as a Pro Domme for the first time expect?

I get asked this question all the time and I find it nearly impossible to answer. Basically, a client enters my private dungeon and finds me courteous and friendlier than they expected. We chat for a few minutes so I can be clear on their needs and limitations. I find out medical issues and we discuss the need to use a safe word or not. They have a chance to ask me questions and then we begin. Beginning means something completely different to each person I see. No two sessions are alike. Sure, client A and client B both like intense canings, but the attitude, reaction, transference, and experience are different for both.

What kinds of people book sessions with you?

Everyone. Professional athletes, elected officials, carpenters, artists, doctors, attorneys, store clerks, computer programmers, designers, insurance agents, retirees and many more. People come to me from all walks of life, from all aspects of gender and sexuality, and single or as a couple. I session with men and women from 18 years of age to 92 year olds (current eldest client at this time). The similarity is that each person is looking to play in a fantasy world, to take a mini-vacation from reality, and to enter my world where they do not have the control.

What are your specialties?

Another difficult question to answer. Five years ago no one ever asked me what my specialty was and now I find myself trying to figure out an answer to this question with regularity. I feel my specialization is in being a sadistic chameleon. I mold myself into the moment or character to bring the most energy into a session that I can. I find ways of pushing boundaries and wills that most don’t expect to be able to handle. I also enjoy blurring the line between sensual sensation and pain.

However, I suspect the answer should reflect the tools I use. Many will tell you that I am equally dangerous with a paper clip as I am with a single tail. I have a great fondness for electricity and sharp objects. Needle play, whippings, canings, and bondage all bring me great joy. Being a character – mean sorority girl, demanding boss, manipulative secretary, teacher – and being in role can make scenes even more fun.

Lastly, I quite enjoy imprisonments. The knowledge that I have someone locked away, used at my discretion, and who is reliant upon me for the most basic of needs is fascinating each time I have a prisoner.

What kinds of equipment do you use?

Anything within reach! Seriously. I have been known to play with pieces of paper, a piece of ginger root, Mardi Ggras beads, you name it and I have probably tried to figure out how to hurt someone with it. I have all the standard Mistress fare: canes, crops, whips, floggers, clips, clamps, weights, rope, cuffs, collars, masks, suction devices, electro stim, tape, pallet wrap, CBT paraphernalia, hoists, racks, crosses, bondage benches, slings, medical tables, dental chair, suspension points, cages, mats, and more. I also like to use my hands. I like to feel the reaction to what I am doing within someone’s skin. I touch, grip, punch, caress, bite, kick, knee, elbow, pinch, and slap.

I adore rope bondage and pallet wrap as I get to learn about someone’s body and reactions while binding them.

Do you enjoy fetishism/BDSM play in your personal life, and if so what are you into?

Yes. Privately I love to mix needles with electricity, single tails, canes, bondage, and psychological games. I also love sneak attacks, though others do not always appreciate them.

What advice would you have for someone just starting out in the fetish scene?

Thanks to the Internet you can look up many answers to your questions, find books and news groups about fetishes and BDSM, and also find your local community. Getting to know the BDSM community is invaluable. Go to play parties, clubs, and classes.

Also, if you really want to get your questions answered or experience a scene, then contact a local Domme and explain that you want some education. You will, of course, have to pay for the session, but you just might find it well worth the money. I have see many couples over the years who just needed some safety advice and someone to monitor them once or twice so they could feel comfortable playing. Go out and experience everything!

Do you think fetish is becoming part of the mainstream culture?

Fetish fashion certainly is, but not acts and scenes. More people may try something once or twice and the costumes may be more popular, but real kink is still for those who are wired that way.

What kind of music do you like?

I love music. I mostly listen to classical, jazz, or Opera when I play. However, I listen to just about everything. I am an Opera member, regularly attend Choral Arts performances, adore Western and old country music, have a sincere appreciation for death metal, grew up on punk rock and mod, get great joy from Ska and Gypsy Cymbaline, and find Industrial, Art Noise, and Experimental engaging. It would be easier to tell you the few sorts of music or bands that I do not like.

What do you like to do for fun?

Enjoy life. I know that sounds cheesy, but I like to experience my world and work in it. I volunteer for a couple of local BDSM groups, I work with a local non-profit, and I perform burlesque. Midori, Kelly B, Indigo Blue and I annually host a benefit for AIDS Lifecycle (aidslifecycle.com) called Bang 4 the Buck (bang4thebuck.org), a female identified only play and sex party. I have the honor of being invited to teach BDSM techniques at several events each year (Desire and Kinkfest are coming up soon).

I attend theater, art shows, burlesque shows, and go to see bands. Seattle is a vibrant city with more to do than any one person could fit in. We have several jazz clubs, Opera, Symphony, galleries, restaurants, and other urban adventures. My favorite things to do when not in scene are to hang out with my pack of dogs, go to witness live art/music, go hiking, eat stinky cheese, have dinner with friends, play games (cards and board games), and read.

http://www.SeattleDungeon.com

http://www.lydiamclane.com

http://twitter.com/LadyLydiaMcLane

http://www.Bang4theBuck.org

http://www.AIDSLifecycle.com